I hope it doesn't hurt like this

Good news – my friend who recently got married last March 1 is now pregnant!! Her husband told us last night. We couldn’t be happier for them. I guess everyone they knew would be happy and excited for them. It’s quite sad because Jerl is now back in Georgia and her hubby is still here, so we are praying for his papers and visa so he could be with his wife anytime soon. I can imagine how hard it is to conceive and “lihi” without your partner beside you.

The bad news – As I have said me and hubby couldn’t be happier for them, they are special to us, so special that we are the first to know among their friends I think even with their own set of parents. So we’re genuinely happy for them. But then hearing the good news brought us some pain also. I immediately asked the question “why not me?” And I guess they heard me even without asking it aloud..because they said “don’t worry, you’ll be the next”.

I hope it doesn’t hurt like this..and it hurts even more when you realize that it also is hurting your hubby. Last night when we are left alone in the room, hubby said “it’s all my fault” ..”I’m not a faithful servant kasi”..”I’m not praying kasi” . I wish I could say the right words but I am speechless too, though I know in my heart that he is not to blame, no one is to blame. I JUST held his hands and whispered..”it’s alright” but inside of me I knew..IT IS NOT.