some wedding etiquette.."YOU'RE INVITED

note: copied from edrei..it's nice..we can actually learn something from this..


Here's an article of John & Benz Rana's (of www.weddingsatwork.com) wrote that originally appeared on 12.03.05 on About Weddings. Hope we will all learn from it...hehehehe.

Questions & Answers

Q. I got an invite but have no plans of attending; should I still send a gift?

A.First thing’s first. If you won’t be able to attend for whatever reason, please RSVP. A big chunk of the wedding budget goes to the reception and it will be utterly inconsiderate to just give up a reserved seat without letting the couple know. Give them the chance to assign that seat to another guest in their “waitlist.” Having that out of the way, let’s get to your question: YES, it is customary to still send a gift.

Q. The envelope bears only my name. May I ask if I can bring a date?

A. Don’t bring a date unless your invitation specifically says “and Guest.” Bringing unexpected guests is very impolite. Neither should you ask the couple’s permission if you may bring one or not. Don’t put your friends on the spot. We Filipinos don’t really like turning down people. So how would you know if their “Yes” means yes or not? Spare them that trouble.

Q. The invite says “Mr. & Mrs.” Could we bring our kids?

A. Never bring the kids unless “& Family” is indicated. Soon-to-weds don’t usually invite children for a good reason. Kids get bored or cranky during hour-long masses. Their tantrums might disrupt the solemnity of the ceremony. Weddings are usually formal events typically not appropriate for the little ones. To be blunt about it, inviting a child at the reception means added two mouths to feed – the kid’s and the yaya’s.


Follow-up Q. But my son/daughter is the bearer/flower girl. I’m sure it’s understood that my other child is invited.

A. Which part of the answer above didn’t you understand? Seriously, if the couple wanted to invite your other kid, they would have specified that on the envelope.

2nd follow-up Q. But I’m breastfeeding, I’m sure my friends will understand, won’t they?

A. Granting that it’s an infant and he or she won’t eat at the reception – let’s even assume that your baby won’t wail at the church – the answer is still NO! Not even if you’ve perfected the art of being a cow in a long gown. Four words: Breast Pump and Babysitter!

Q. I don’t have a clue what gift to give them. Any ideas?

A. The average Pinoy soon-to-wed would always prefer monetary gifts more than any other gift. It is the unspoken fact. We’re telling you now to make it easier for them to let you know what they REALLY want; unless they indicated that already in their invites which, by the way, is a very tacky thing to do.
If you’re not comfortable giving cash, you may ask the couple where they are registered (Gift / Bridal Registry) and choose from what’s listed under their names in the store. You can also ask them where they’re residing after the wedding and take the cue from there. If you know that they’ll be migrating abroad or living with their parents for the time being, a ref or another oven toaster may not be the most practical and logical gift.

Q. I’m convinced. So how much cash should I give them? I don't want to give too little or too much.

A. That’s a hard thing to answer. It’s really a case-to-case thing. Try to put yourself in the couple’s shoes. How much should a guest of your stature give you without being branded a cheapskate? Also consider your relationship with the couple. If you're good friends of the couple's parents, you'll probably shell-out more than if you were simply the bride’s Girl Friday.

Q. Could I skip the ceremony and head straight to the reception?

A. You can… BUT you shouldn’t! You are invited to THE wedding -- that’s the part where they exchange their “I dos.” The reception is where the Receiving Line is. You can’t be ‘received’ if you are already seated in the hall, right? “Patay-gutom” is too harsh a word and we assure you that it’s by no means what anyone would think if indeed you decide to go straight to the reception. But admit that it struck a nerve just mentioning the word in that context, isn’t it?

Q. Speaking of the Receiving Line, what should be the proper greeting?

A. Here’s the rule: Say “Congratulations” to the groom and “Best Wishes” to the bride. The reason behind is that "congrats" implies that someone has caught something or won a prize, and it is rather improper to imply that the bride “caught” the man who married her. If this rule gets mixed-up in your head come wedding day, just say the two phrases together and look at both of them. That usually works!
Likewise, saying “Good Luck!” no matter how pure your wishes are will also sound very inappropriate for obvious reasons.

Q. Nice try, but what if the couple makes a Grand Entrance and left the Receiving Line to their parents? What then should I tell them? Note that I don’t even know which sets of parents are whose.

A. Didn’t we tell you already not to skip the ceremony? The bride and groom usually walk alongside their respective parents at the very start!
Anyway, make your pleasantries short and sweet. Shake their hands and say "Hello! I'm (your name) and I went to school with (name of bride/groom) in (school’s name)/an officemate of (name of bride/groom) at (name of company)." They usually respond with "Nice meeting you." Just smile, nod politely, and move on to the next person. If one replies “Hi! I’ve heard so much about you!”, simply smile and nod just the same. No lengthy conversation; just make small talk at most. If you can’t find the words to say, just smile again, nod politely, and move.

Q. During the banquet, is there anything I need to know?

A. Nowadays, the Reception Program usually have the guests on each table stand up and have their picture taken with the couple before being led to the buffet. This is done to resolve two issues of past weddings: (a) for the couple’s convenience and skip the tiring Table-Hopping ritual just to have their picture taken with all their guests; and (b) for the guests’ convenience so they won’t have to wait very long for their turn in the buffet line.
Keep in mind that Buffet is NOT synonymous with “Eat-All-You-Can.” Do not pile your plate full. Be courteous of those who have yet to be served. Don’t worry. You can easily go for seconds.

Q. I’m used to a Buffet setting, but what if it’s a formal Sit-Down Dinner? Which fork do I start with again?

A. You’re on your own, pal. Watch “Pretty Woman” again.

sari-saring kwento

Wow..it’s been a month since I updated..sensha na po sa mga nagbabasa ng blog ko,di naman sa wala ako updates but I find it hard lang talaga to write..magbasa lang ng e-mails ubos na oras ko..hehe!

Anyways…we’re really on full blast preparations na..nakakatuwa kasi Rudolf is so much involve na although lagi pa rin niyang sinasabi pag tinanong ko siya about something..”ikaw bahala mahal..mas alam mo yan..” ngek! Na-appreciate ko pa rin yung involvement niya.

Madami pa kami gagawin, we’re doing it one at a time..ayoko masyado ngaragin sarili ko sa preps baka naman come my wedding day..di nako makilala ng mga guests namin..kasi pag iisipin ko lahat ng loads ko..gusto ko na himatayin..nagkataon pa na may concert kami sa cebu on January 22..almost all of the details and work nasa akin..haay! at di ako pwede mawala kahit 1 araw sa office..hopefully after that medyo maluwag nako..I’m praying also for someone na magte-take over muna ng ministry na ipinagkatiwala sa akin ng Lord (Young Professionals/Singles) ..even just for a while..habang nagpe-prepare kami for the wedding..sana may ma-burden jan at mag offer na kunin muna..hehe! calling all the singles at LJBC!!!

I’m so overwhelmed of God’s love and blessings..share ko nga kay dolf last devotion namin,nanliliit ako sa mga blessing na tinatanggap namin at alam ko..madami pa hinanda ang Lord. I just have to trust HIM and believe that He can give us the best!

May pants na si dolf!!! Yey! Hehe..sobrang saya ba?..we bought this last Sunday sa SM Manila..for only 579.00. super love niya yung tela kasi malambot at very comfortable siya.like din niya yung fit sa kanya..ang laki na ng tinaba ni dolf..humahabol sa kin..sa sunday we're set to buy his shoes and his barong..ok na sa kanya RTW na barong..pina jusi..blessing din to kasi Kuya joshua said he will pay for it na daw(barong & shoes) o di ba? galing galing talaga ni Lord!
then, we accepted another opportunity to earn extra income for the wedding.answerd prayer din to..na bigay sa amin yung t-shirt printing ng company namin..medyo malaki siya at mako-cover na siguro yung payment sa reception namin..for all those who prayed for us..salamat talaga!

we met with jay kagabi-our photographer, although di pa kami nag down-nasa amin na yung contract..ok na sakin yung service niya..free ang pre-nup at maganda naman gawa niya.I know the Lord will give us yung pambayad sa kanya..mura na nga bigay niya sa akin kasi i've known him for quite sometime na compared dun sa iba.hopefully we could do the pre-nup sometime on march para medyo sunny na.sa parks & wildlife siguro location namin.

Dolf & I wants the best for our wedding but what we desire most is that people who will come will see God's hands working in us and glorify Him..

Wedding preparations can be so deppressing but when God is at the center of it it is very Exciting!!! yun lang muna..more on next!!!